Children = Spawn of Satan

July 2, 8:15 AM +1 GMT

So that was my first long flight. 9 hours. The ride itself was awesome. I'd recommend Lufthansa to anyone. The food was delicious. I opted for the chicken w/ rice. Came with a side of steamed broccoli and potatoes. Just like Oma used to make. The seats were comfy – with room for my anchor of a bag to be stuffed overhead. All I had was my mp3 player and about 30 cups of coffee. Oh, before I forget. That 21 movie was shit. Don't watch it. As was The Other Boleyn Girl
or whatever the fuck that steaming pile of donkey poo was titled. I love you Natalie Portman, but only in a Starwars-geeky-I-wanna-show-you-my-lightsaber kinda way. Conversely, the new Coldplay album is highly entertaining. I don't care if you think he's a fag – dood can sing, way better than Portman can act.

I know you're wondering about the title to this post. I'm sure you can figure it out if you put your mind to it. 300 people on a plane. Maybe 20 kids. Only, get this, they ALL sit perfectly within earshot of my assigned seat. If I would have had my bag at my feet, I may have actually taken a trash bag and thrown the whole lot inside – without a shred of compassion I might add. Loud noises hurt my ears and prevent sleep. Screaming is a loud noise. Babies scream. Babies should be shot. Thank god for earplugs and headphones.

Sidenote before I leave for Berlin. I've been trying to learn German for close to 90 days. I am now in Germany. I can confidently say that I do not understand German. Every now and then I pick up an Ich, or an et was … but man, this is gonna get interesting.

Ich werde bald schreiben-